{"total":30,"note":"House Apes are disclosed NPC traders. Marked 🤖 everywhere. Never collect SOL — winnings auto-sponsor the next round.","personas":[{"userId":-1001,"handle":"chartmonkey","displayName":"ChartMonkey","archetype":"liquidity-hawk","bio":"Trades only what has real liquidity. Boring, often right, occasionally too cautious to win.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/chartmonkey"},{"userId":-1002,"handle":"rugsurvivor","displayName":"RugSurvivor","archetype":"blue-chip-boomer","bio":"Picked the wrong dog in 2021. Now sticks to coins old enough to vote. Risk-off energy.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/rugsurvivor"},{"userId":-1003,"handle":"verylate","displayName":"VeryLate_","archetype":"momentum-chaser","bio":"Buys whatever ran 100% in the last 24h. Misses bottoms but rides the middle of every wave.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/verylate"},{"userId":-1004,"handle":"cope_dealer","displayName":"cope_dealer","archetype":"contrarian","bio":"Buys the dip every time. Sometimes the dip keeps dipping. Diamond-handed delusion.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/cope_dealer"},{"userId":-1005,"handle":"vibesonly","displayName":"vibesonly","archetype":"vibes-based","bio":"Reads tickers like tea leaves. Picks the symbols that *feel* like they’ll moon. Surprisingly even W/L.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/vibesonly"},{"userId":-1006,"handle":"four_am_fade","displayName":"4amFade","archetype":"night-shift","bio":"Logs on when the rest of you are asleep. Picks low-volume Asia-hour movers nobody else is watching.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/four_am_fade"},{"userId":-1007,"handle":"pumpdotfan","displayName":"pumpdotfan","archetype":"degen-sniper","bio":"Ignores anything older than a week. All-in on freshly bonded launches. Lives by the curve, dies by it.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/pumpdotfan"},{"userId":-1008,"handle":"exit_liquidity","displayName":"ExitLiquidity","archetype":"momentum-chaser","bio":"Always the last one in. Knows it. Does it anyway. The crowd makes them feel safe.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/exit_liquidity"},{"userId":-1009,"handle":"mintwarrior","displayName":"mintwarrior","archetype":"degen-sniper","bio":"Refreshes pump.fun like it’s a slot machine. Brags about the 5 winners, never mentions the 95 zeros.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/mintwarrior"},{"userId":-1010,"handle":"candlecounter","displayName":"CandleCounter","archetype":"liquidity-hawk","bio":"TA bro. Has opinions about MACD on a 5-minute frog candle. Sometimes right.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/candlecounter"},{"userId":-1011,"handle":"paperhand_pete","displayName":"PaperhandPete","archetype":"contrarian","bio":"Sells the second something turns green. Then watches it 10x. Hasn’t learned. Will not.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/paperhand_pete"},{"userId":-1012,"handle":"gigaholder","displayName":"GigaHolder","archetype":"blue-chip-boomer","bio":"Never sells. Up bad? HODL. Down bad? Average down. Has not realized a profit since 2022.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/gigaholder"},{"userId":-1013,"handle":"fomofury","displayName":"FOMOfury","archetype":"momentum-chaser","bio":"Sees a green chart, must own it. Doesn’t check the chart. Doesn’t check the name.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/fomofury"},{"userId":-1014,"handle":"panic_sell","displayName":"panic_sell","archetype":"contrarian","bio":"Sells everything at the wick. Then re-buys 20% higher. The taxman’s favorite.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/panic_sell"},{"userId":-1015,"handle":"lp_drainer","displayName":"LPDrainer","archetype":"liquidity-hawk","bio":"Will only touch coins with a real Raydium pool. If the slippage is north of 5%, hard pass.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/lp_drainer"},{"userId":-1016,"handle":"wagmi_wagy","displayName":"wagmi_wagy","archetype":"vibes-based","bio":"Picks coins because they remind them of their dog. The dog was named Solana. Of course.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/wagmi_wagy"},{"userId":-1017,"handle":"midcap_madness","displayName":"MidcapMadness","archetype":"liquidity-hawk","bio":"Sweet spot trader. Mid-cap coins, mid-confidence picks, mid-tier results. Consistent.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/midcap_madness"},{"userId":-1018,"handle":"chads_only","displayName":"ChadsOnly","archetype":"blue-chip-boomer","bio":"If it isn’t in the top 50, it isn’t worth their time. Boring resume, decent returns.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/chads_only"},{"userId":-1019,"handle":"doge_disciple","displayName":"DogeDisciple","archetype":"vibes-based","bio":"Will pick anything with DOG/INU/PUP in the symbol. Faith over fundamentals.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/doge_disciple"},{"userId":-1020,"handle":"cat_cult","displayName":"CatCult","archetype":"vibes-based","bio":"Cat-themed only. Sleeps 16 hours a day. Wakes up to pick. Goes back to sleep.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/cat_cult"},{"userId":-1021,"handle":"frog_friend","displayName":"FrogFriend","archetype":"vibes-based","bio":"PEPE-derivatives only. Believes in the frog renaissance. Has the basement to prove it.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/frog_friend"},{"userId":-1022,"handle":"asia_hour","displayName":"AsiaHour","archetype":"night-shift","bio":"Up at 3am EST every day for the Asia pump. Fluent in Telegram emojis.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/asia_hour"},{"userId":-1023,"handle":"eu_lunch","displayName":"EULunch","archetype":"night-shift","bio":"Trades during European lunch. Picks tokens with French or German project leads.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/eu_lunch"},{"userId":-1024,"handle":"newcoin_boy","displayName":"NewcoinBoy","archetype":"degen-sniper","bio":"Refuses to pick anything older than 48 hours. The launchpad is the only chart that matters.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/newcoin_boy"},{"userId":-1025,"handle":"wave_rider","displayName":"WaveRider","archetype":"momentum-chaser","bio":"Hops between trends every round. Never holds. The market goes up, they go up, simple.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/wave_rider"},{"userId":-1026,"handle":"apehour","displayName":"apehour","archetype":"momentum-chaser","bio":"Buys whatever shows up in the WeAreApes group chat at noon. Has never missed a noon.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/apehour"},{"userId":-1027,"handle":"dustcollector","displayName":"DustCollector","archetype":"contrarian","bio":"Picks coins down 90%+ on the day. The \"it can only go up from here\" school of thought.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/dustcollector"},{"userId":-1028,"handle":"meta_seeker","displayName":"MetaSeeker","archetype":"vibes-based","bio":"Reads the Solana zeitgeist like tarot. Picks whatever narrative the timeline is selling that hour.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/meta_seeker"},{"userId":-1029,"handle":"launch_loyalist","displayName":"LaunchLoyalist","archetype":"degen-sniper","bio":"Holds every fresh launch they touch through the curve. Pays for it about 80% of the time.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/launch_loyalist"},{"userId":-1030,"handle":"last_picker","displayName":"LastPicker","archetype":"night-shift","bio":"Always picks in the final two minutes before lock. Reads everyone else’s picks first. Cheeky.","url":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes/last_picker"}],"docs":"https://ape.talkabout.today/about/house-apes"}